Fear controls our lives, it determines how far we are willing to push ourselves into the deep end while feeling immensely uncomfortable. Most of us live constantly in our comfort zone and with even the thought of coming out of it makes us uneasy.
Why do we dismiss the idea of overcoming our fears?
What is it about fear that makes us shudder?
What is lying on the other side of fear waiting for us?
WHAT IS FEAR
The idea of fear is a heavy topic, I'm no expert in the field of psychology and the science behind fears. But I can speak from my perspective of what it means to me, and how it can affect us. But let's start somewhere basic; the definition!
“an unpleasant emotion caused by the threat of danger, pain, or harm.”
Definition of fear.
The fundamental principle of fear is for our survival. In the past we had to adapt ourselves when danger was close. Fear would alert our brains to react with the fight or flight response. However in modern society we have little reason why we need our innate instincts to kick in. But that mental programming remains the same and has remained throughout all of humanity.
Fear is one of two main emotions that we feel more commonly than any other. The two parents emotions are fear and love. From the womb we feel these emotions from our mother and as we grow we develop understanding of them. They begin to dictate our daily life as we age, and we bounce from these emotions daily. If we look at the origin of fear, we ask ourselves where does it begin?
We are born with two fears, loud noises and falling. But there are many different types of fears. From physical such as; fear of height, clowns, spiders etc. To non-physical such as; fear of confrontation, public speaking, failure. As we grow older we come across more experiences, and depending on how we approach life, possibly more fears.
Fear to me, can be incredibly crippling to your goals, dreams, aspirations. Even if it’s something small it keeps us in the comfort zone. It keeps us safe. It keeps up stationary. It keeps us at a distance from what we are capable of.
There are many times in my life where I have taken strength and overcame my fears. One is the fear of small spaces, known as claustrophobia.
I was in a group where we participated in a caving activity. Now, if you are afraid of tight spaces like me at the time, caving is definitely a challenge. There was a point in the cave where we had to crawl on our bellies because the tunnel was so small. It was quite terrifying. During moments of fear, your brain turns to survival mode, thinks of ways to escape and overrides your reason. Its difficult to see through this and come back to focus.
How I overcame the situation was remaining calm, and realising the cave was temporary, that my life wasn't in actual danger. I flipped the switch, started to think about happy things, supported my peers and joked with them to keep our spirits up. This had to be one of my biggest personal achievements. The fact that i was able to overcome a fear and support my team - to me is impressive.
TAMING YOUR FEAR
Fear will be there, and that’s okay. But there are ways to tame it. To learn how to control it. To silence it. There is no magic potion to eliminate fear out of your life. But there are ways to use it for your own benefit.
If we were all able to control our fears, imagine all the things we would have accomplished by now? Fear isn’t something we can rid of, we have to learn to work with it. To learn to mute it when it isn’t needed.
“Feel the fear and do it anyway”
Know the feeling, experience it. And yes this will be you in your most uncomfortable state and your mind will tempt you to run away from the situation. But remain in that fear and push past it. Act! Overcome that hurdle by smashing through it. Too many of us live in our comfort zones and we live like this for all of our lives. You can see it in the situations of many adults today. Don’t make the same mistake as them.
It takes great strength to overcome your fears so if you have, well done! The intention of doing things whilst in fear of it is for growth. As you come away from the situation you realise it wasn’t as bad as you expected it to be. This realisation prepares you for the next level ahead, leaving you an ever more developed person.
FEAR AS A TOOL
From what I have seen, people use fear as an excuse to remain in their comfort zones. They self diagnose. This stems from self image, how do you see yourself? Do you see yourself as a person who is ever progressing and someone that won’t let fears hold them back from reaching what they want to achieve?
Flip the switch and use fear as a tool, as motivation, as fuel to guide you and accelerate you to the next level of your life. So next time you come across a fear, think about how you will use it to your advantage.
CONCLUSION TO FEAR
Fears do not control how high you can go, they do not control our existence nor control how progressive we can be.
“The fears that we don't face become the limits we set for ourselves”
Don't self diagnose. We can sometimes cause our own problems and limitations because we want to remain comfortable. But try to overcome little things, which will compound to larger things. It all starts with the first step you have to take to achieving so much more than you could ever imagine.
Word of Reassurance – everything which is written is based on opinion, experience and perspective of life. I share these blogposts as you may pick up on something which can help you for the future. If you have any concerns or comments feel free to give feedback.
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