"The person or people over whom one is attempting to establish one's supremacy or superiority; the opposition."
Dictionary Definition of Competition.
Competition means many things from the literal sports such as racing which requires each member to aim for 1st place, to something more informal like fighting with your siblings for the last slice of pizza and I'm sure you can think of many other types! But this not type of competition is not what I want to focus on.
Competition - in particular - between peers over things some of us feel is important enough to compete over (particularly developed in the teenage years of our lives). We may not realise that we compete with our peers over personal things such as social approval, beauty and the idea of the ‘perfect person’.
It is rooted in our society, where we aim to achieve these things because society idolises them and makes them appear more important rather than seeking happiness and being comfortable with who you are. Trend setting and being obsessed with Instagram and the amount of likes that one receives compared to their peers causes us to lose sight of ourselves and what is truly important. Where we can hold the view that for every 1 like we receive is equal to our happiness, but this is only temporary happiness, we should rely on something more stable than just trends and society's approval; as this is never stable.
SOURCES OF COMPETITION
COMPARING
Competition is often sparked by comparing yourself with others. Whether it is looking at who is the most popular/likeable, or even wanting to be like someone you admire - of course we all have people in our lives who inspire us, but that is all it should be just inspiration!
“Comparison is the thief of all joy.”
Theodore Roosevelt.
The obsession of wanting to be exactly like someone else becomes a battle that we can never win. Comparing yourself with someone else can be harmful to your own confidence because it allows the mind to think everything within yourself which is different to the other person is wrong and needs to be changed or muted. Which is what we shouldn't do! You are PERFECT in your own way.
DISMISSING WHAT'S IN FRONT OF YOU
Looking at the opportunities that are laid out for us and not focusing on others. Everyday there are many opportunities that we are faced with, and most of the time we don't notice them. We often look at others, admire their successful position because they have taken an opportunity – suited to them. So, we start aiming for the same opportunities just because others have it. However, this view is destructive. As we are all different, we each have different purposes so the opportunities that others have may not be suited to what we should be aiming for.
Eg, A girl admires her friend because she was chosen to be the next lead gospel singer in the choir. However, she doesn't realise that she has a great talent for playing the piano. If the girl chooses to aim for lead gospel singer she may disappoint herself and never discover her talent to play the piano for her local orchestra. Like the girl, we may be looking so far ahead at someone else's green lawn that we neglect our own. We don't notice the amount of opportunities going pasted us because we are so focused on others. Instead we need to begin to look at the opportunities that are sitting right beneath our noses.
“Opportunity only knocks once”
Which means that opportunities of a lifetime could be passing you by and some can be so rare and too valuable to ignore it. So grab them now while you have the chance!
Even begin to create those opportunities for yourself. “If life gives you lemons, make lemonade” which is the explanation to why Beyoncé named her album, Lemonade. Take what you have and make something out of the opportunities which we can otherwise view as dismissible.
A NEED TO BE ACCEPTED BY OTHERS
We feel we need to be approved by those around us in order to be happy - where this may lead to us depriving our true self in order to fit in and be accepted by peers. Copying the behaviour of those who are socially accepted can encourage competition between yourself and the other person. It can cause tension within ourselves which inhibit our own growth and the true reflection of who we are.
MAIN OUTCOMES
Competition itself can cause many effects on ourselves and how we perceive the people around us, it is important to be able to notice and highlight factors of what Competition with others can cause. Seeking the problem and admitting them leads to you beginning to solving them!
INSECURITY
Depriving our true forms and imitating others in order to give us ‘happiness’ can lead to great insecurity. We begin to dislike ourselves in the areas where we are not similar to our peers. Which in some cases, can be the source of low self-confidence and dignity in the differences which make you, you! We being to doubt ourselves and our capabilities in things which are different to our peers, losing sight of our talents and leading us to losing faith in our abilities.
CONFLICT
Apply it here and the more time you have to focus on your purpose and the talents which you have been given is the quicker you will reach that finish line and feel internal peace and happiness. Sometimes it will take a long time to reach that stage of completion, but we can all start now. More specifically focusing on what you are good at, whether that be sports, creative arts or anything else! Being bold and brave by following what you enjoy and investing in sharing it with the world.
ENVY
This can also lead to envy - where we would want something from what someone else has, whether it is through looks, cliques, talents etc. Creating a sense of unhappiness that begins to develop in our lives. Also, an underlying anger for that person. Most of the time we try to deny envy, which leads to those issues never really being dealt with properly.
Once we become aware of competition between ourselves and others. The insecurity and envy can lead to conflict, where the imbalance lies within ourselves. Conflict in our minds and internally, and conflict with others - externally.
The internal conflict, which would be the innate talents and aspects of who you are compared to the conscious effort of being or competing with someone else.
One thing we all have to remember. There is no competition between ourselves and anyone else (unless, you create it). We are on our own paths.
Here’s an analogy; you are on a racetrack, it is only you in that lane and the end of the racetrack is the finish line. Each of us have a different purpose to life that we can achieve - hence an individual end. It is impossible to be exactly like someone else because we all have our own unique objective. So, focusing on your purpose will give you a lot more fulfilment than following someone else.
The important thing that we all have in common, is the competition with time. Instead of racing against other people you are racing against time.
"Time waits for no man."
MY PROPOSED SOLUTION
Focus on what you enjoy and begin to build up your own pathway to that purpose. Get to know people who have similar goals, or who are inspiring to you. Once you begin to, the fulfilment you receive from it is great enough to clear your mind of the burden of comparing oneself to another.
If you feel someone else is attempting to compete with you in any way, take yourself out of that situation and help that person to do what they enjoy.
"If you aren’t helping someone or making them a better person then you are wasting your time."
- Les Brown.
We are in this world together and there is a lot of division within society such as social groups, ethnicity, age and amongst many other groups which divide us. No man is an island and we should help each other out instead of bringing ourselves down. You never know how you might affect someone else's day...
Word of Reassurance – everything which is written is based on opinion, experience and perspective of life. I share these blog as you may pick up on something which can help you for the future. If you have any concerns or comments feel free to give feedback.
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